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Is Hell Expanding ?
Started by
necrocowboy
, Apr 17 2007 11:31 AM
9 replies to this topic
#1
Posted 17 April 2007 - 11:31 AM
The following is an actual question given on a University of Washington chemistry mid-term. The answer by one student was so 'profound' that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which is , of course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well.
Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?
Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed), or some variant.
One student, however, wrote the following:
First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time.
So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave.
Therefore, no souls are leaving.
As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different religions that exist in the world today. Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell.
Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell.
With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell, because Boyle's Law states that in
order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added.
This gives two possibilities.
If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.
So which is it?
If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year that, "it will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you," and take into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number 2 must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over.
The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore, extinct... leaving only Heaven thereby proving the existence of a Divine
Being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting "Oh my God."
THIS STUDENT RECEIVED THE ONLY "A."
Enjoy
NC
Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?
Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed), or some variant.
One student, however, wrote the following:
First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time.
So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave.
Therefore, no souls are leaving.
As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different religions that exist in the world today. Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell.
Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell.
With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell, because Boyle's Law states that in
order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added.
This gives two possibilities.
If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.
So which is it?
If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year that, "it will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you," and take into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number 2 must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over.
The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore, extinct... leaving only Heaven thereby proving the existence of a Divine
Being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting "Oh my God."
THIS STUDENT RECEIVED THE ONLY "A."
Enjoy
NC
#2 Guest_scaramonga_*
Posted 17 April 2007 - 11:49 AM
As long as there's room for me.......
#3
Posted 17 April 2007 - 04:25 PM
Quote
Being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting "Oh my God."
#4
Posted 17 April 2007 - 05:50 PM
That was great, still chuckling.
#6
Posted 17 April 2007 - 07:40 PM
LOL, that was great!! I was actually thinking while I read this that this kid better get an A. And sure enough he did!!! Well written.
#7
Posted 18 April 2007 - 01:07 AM
I'm stealing it and posting it on my myspace. That was a great read. Thx necro!
#8
Posted 21 April 2007 - 12:45 AM
That guy is amazing !!! Love the Teresa part lol, it explains everything !
It reminds me of the story of the philosophy class exam where you had to answer to "What is courage?" and the guy only wrote down "This is courage."
It reminds me of the story of the philosophy class exam where you had to answer to "What is courage?" and the guy only wrote down "This is courage."
#9
Posted 21 April 2007 - 11:48 PM
Isn't Hell in Ohio?
.... I know Saitans Kingdom is Mass.
.... I know Saitans Kingdom is Mass.
#10
Posted 24 April 2007 - 02:40 AM
DavARei, on Apr 21 2007, 07:48 PM, said:
Isn't Hell in Ohio?
.... I know Saitans Kingdom is Mass.
.... I know Saitans Kingdom is Mass.
Ok, now let's see if someone will understand the reference... I may actually be the only one thinking this is funny...
Edited by hog, 24 April 2007 - 02:40 AM.
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